that deafening silence

there is something so profound about the quiet. in those moments where you pause and realize that all the background noise has faded and you are alone with your thoughts, your feelings, and all the things you have been running from. silence can be deafening. it can be refreshing. it can be scary. however, almost always it is necessary. times of reflection are integral to understanding who you are and who you are being shaped into. as cliche as it may be, often those times come for me when I am surrounded by people but just struck by how small I am. today, while floating in the ocean and bobbing around hoping not to get eaten by a shark, I was struck by one of those moments of deafening silence. pushing my hands through the water and feeling the power of the current and the subdued strength of waves that had not yet crashed I couldn't help but feel so insignificant. moments where I fully understand how little control I have over my life. there is a possibility I could get swept out to sea by a strong current or eaten by a shark (not trying to scare you mom), but that doesn't make me want to swim for shore. it just makes me realize that life isn't all plans and dreams and thoughts. most of the time it's moments. moments where you just have to pause and look around at the beauty of life and understand that you may be a small and insignificant part of it all, but you are a part. one of my favorite things to do is be immersed in the ocean. to feel it's supremacy all around me and surrender to it. surrender to God's power. God's plan. and silence is so often what forces me to do that. silence in its many forms. silence comes and my thoughts run, but learning that I need those times to learn about myself and learn who I am and all that is bigger and stronger than me.

in other news, today I dropped my bra in a port a potty when changing to go out to dinner.

some moments are meant for reflection and others are meant to just crack up at yourself and how hilariously awkward your life can be.

here's a pic of me making friends with a cool lighthouse.

so today I revealed a little bit of my soul (and my body), thank you for reading,

haley grace

haley grace strong

often lacking grace and strength, here I am, haley grace strong. if you want to know who I am here's a glimpse:

I am a dreamer. a thinker. an over-thinker. wonderer. lover of all things pure, blissful, and exciting. a firm believer that you must purposely go after what makes you happy. someone who thinks that missing people is a waste of time. be with who you love and love where you are. someone who desperately wants a full life. a life of mistakes, adventures, misadventures, travels, and home. I want to always be tan. eat cupcakes whenever I want. accept that my body might not agree with either of those dreams. a lover of the ocean and all it's immensities. someone who fears immensities. someone who is a tangled mess of hair, dreams, emotions, and mistakes. someone who is so complex and intricate, I may never be fully understood by any human. someone who doesn't even understand herself. who's music taste changes daily. and style changes hourly. I'm not sure who I am or who I am becoming. a river who's direction constantly changes. I relish that fact that this is ok. I am ok. I am haley grace strong and someday I will figure out just what that means.

but the funny thing is that person is only half of what this blog is about.

the other half is God. the epitome of grace and strength. and grace in strength. and strength in grace. he is calm, peaceful, stable, and perfect. he is my rock and my salvation. and as the above paragraph indicates I could use a little stability. He is the other half of my equation, the solution. He is the immensity I love but so often fear. He is what gives value to all my adventures, misadventures, and travels. He is home to me. He accepts me even when it's winter and I'm pale and all the cupcakes have gone to my thighs. He is the one who understands me and all my complexities. He already knows who I am, who I will become, and who I am meant to me. He is my everything. He is my grace and my strength.

So by now I'm sure you're thanking your lucky stars that this blog isn't purely about the hot mess of a girl you just read about ;) but on a more serious note here are some facts about me:

I have been a disciple for over a year now and that is the most important thing to me. 

My family is a close second :)

I love laughing,

kids,

and anything food-related ;)

I am a special education major who desperately misses her hometown. So here's to your reading and my writing this year. I hope it makes you laugh, think, and smile.

Happy blogging,

haley grace